a question

Joined: 27 Apr 2009 Posts: 21

hi leah

i would love to meet on Wednesday...do you want me to call John on Wednesday morning? I can certainly do that and then, yes, I will ask him to call you. It would be great to meet and just talk with someone...

thanks for answering my question....I will make it one of my bigger goals to realize that I am NOT my depression....it may take some time for me because I am used to victimizing myself...pretty much all the time I am notorious for blaming myself for things that i didnt do or things that i had no control over.... it's a habit i have tried to break before but it has been really hard.

anyway....i hope you're well and i look forward to talking to you...
thank you Smile

walking

Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 7:44 am

Hi Walking,

Yes, please call John in the morning on Wednesday. He usually answers by 9:00 or shortly after. I won't be at the center on Wednesday, but I can still meet you there or we can meet somewhere else if you are more comfortable with that ok? Well, we are getting ready to check out and go home. I'll talk to you soon.

Oh yeah, It does take a little time to separate yourself from your symptoms. Don't sweat it too much, it will happen. Thank you for talking with me and we will talk again soon. You can always post here too cause I check the boards all the time.

Take care and cyber hugs,
Leah

Joined: 27 Apr 2009 Posts: 21

Leah-
I will call Wednesday morning....

I finally made up my mind for what I want to do when I get to India--I'm staying in this nice hotel and then taking the train to Calcutta to meet up with my friend...I'm suddenly so nervous it's crazy! Oh well, I'm sure that will all fizzle when I get there and get into the routine of things...

I hope you have a safe trip home and I look forward to meeting with you on Wednesday. Thanks for talking with me, I have actually gained a lot from just being on here the past couple of days.

Smile

Walking

Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 3:43 pm

Hi Walking, I'm looking forward to your call. I think when you bring up topics for us to discuss like you have been doing, I gain so much from it too. It helps me to stay focused among other good things. If you find yourself getting too nervous about us meeting, we can just talk on the phone or even keep communicating this way if you like. Or all three. It's your decision. I'm here for you though, so I will keep talking with you either way.

Have you ever been out of the country before? The farthest I've been is Canada! It's beautiful up there. Even as a very young child, I appreciated it's beauty.

Hey, I just finished reading my psych book for class and am going to start preparing myself to take the exam in about three weeks or so. It's good to get it done with. I feel like I accomplished something today.

I hope you are having a good day. I'm just a little brain fried at the moment from studying Confused

I'm going to check back in a while, so if you feel like writing tonight I will probably answer.

Take care and hugs,
Leah

Joined: 27 Apr 2009 Posts: 21

hi leah!
good to hear from you....i'm not really nervous anymore about us meeting, im more nervous about calling John and asking him if it is okay to meet with you so he will call you...sometimes i'm not very good at calling places. (i used to be really scared of the telephone, i wouldn't call anyone, not even to order a pizza...strange, huh?)

i have been out of the country, i went to france with my mom in 7th grade and then again in summer of '07 to study abroad to finish my french degree. i've always wanted to go to canada, it sounds really beautiful!

congrats on finishing your psych book and good luck with your exam! it's great that you accomplished something Smile

i'm doing okay, but lately it has been really hard for me to choose between happy and sadness...sounds weird, i know...but with me it has never been easy for me to just "be happy"--i always feel more comfortable when i am sad...i wish it wasn't that way..but i used to be sad to get attention from people(i was lonely ALOT as a kid..i still am, actually...) but now i realize that being sad is not going to keep getting me attention, it only drives people away. so that is one thing i want to work on also....figuring out how to choose to fight the sadness and be a happier person...and just go with the flow(sometimes i fight the flow of things so much...)

anyway...so i feel kind of iffy at the moment...kinda sad, but not entirely. oh well, maybe it will go away....we'll see.

there are a few things i feel like i can't say on here..kind of like i feel i should save it for when i actually go to counseling...but then again its kind of like i am more curious about those things than wanting to take action on them...does that make sense?

well, i'm going to go and take my dog into town to walk him at my favorite place ever(hint:it's a big hill) Smile

but i will be back later on to check here to see if you posted anything.

you have been such a big help and i feel like i will grow a lot through either the drop in center, you, or the GMHC counseling...(or all 3!) so thank you thank you thank you for talking with me...

walking

Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 4:49 pm

Hi Walking!

It doesn't sound weird to be afraid of the phone. I've heard a lot of people say that same thing. I forgot to tell you that I talked to John about a phone call from you. He knows we are going to meet and everything so you don't have to worry about that. We just need to exchange our numbers so we can arrange a time and place to meet. So, it's all good. Just leave your number with him and I will call you back.

Wow France! I didn't know you studied there. That's pretty cool.

OK, The big hill!!! Laughing

Pretty sure I know where you are talking about now. I have to go to a training tomorrow (really early). And we will be gone until Tuesday evening. But I'll bring my laptop and hope I have time to chat with you some more before Wednesday. Glad you're not nervous about meeting with me. Smile

Talk with you again and have a great night.

PS. Thank you too for talking with me.

Leah

Joined: 27 Apr 2009 Posts: 21

Leah!
Yeah, I was in France for 5 weeks in the summer of '07...it was a really cool experience but I got really depressed while I was there so that was really tough. I was quiet, embarassed a lot, and afraid to go out and do stuff....but I suppose we all learn from our mistakes, right? anyway, it turned out okay but I just look back on it and wish I could almost do it over...

Ok, I'm glad you talked to John..now I'm not so nervous about calling on Wednesday morning...and maybe if I get up enough guts, I'll even stop by the center sometime on Monday or tuesday...we'll see though--that's kind of a long shot....

I was thinking that it may be better for me if we meet sometime mid-morning on Wednesday if that works for you...if not we can meet later(I just have to drive home that day and its like 4 hours or so...) but i can be flexible with it.

I'm going to call GMHC tomorrow to see what my status on an intake appt is...I guess I will just tell them I'll be gone starting Wednesday afternoon and if they can't get me in I will just have to do it when I get back to town and just deal with it....we'll see

anyway good luck with your trainings and I look forward to talking with you again!

Walking Smile

Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 4:39 am

Hi Walking! Just a quick note before I have to start getting ready. You can PM your phone number to me on this board and then I can call you before Wednesday. I couldn't meet with you until then, but it's a start. That is, if it's ok with you. I don't even know if the motel we are staying at has wifi yet!

I hope all is well with you and hope to talk with you sometime tonight.

Peace and hugs,
Leah